TWN- 03.03.14

The Wicked News will bring you weekly updated (or whenever) for the news items you may have missed, in the wicked way-

1. Aamir Khan AKA Bhuvan from Lagaan is back with feel good show, SATYAMEV JAYATE. We hope this time it makes a huge impact and we can live in a better world.

If not that then we have Modi-Gandhi war going on, on TV supported by Lalu-Nitesh battle garnished by Yet-Another-Reality-Show called Roadies. (Oh yeah the same show where a bald-short man shows how macho and cool he is!)

2. Subrata Roy has fallen badly with no one to give him ‘SAHARA’.  He must be thinking, “Kahan gaye voh kasame-vaade jo ministers ne mujhse kiye the?”

Meanwhile on a private beach in Goa, Vijay  Mallaya is sipping beer and saying, “Feel the heat bitch!”

3. Modi and Mulayam Yadav go into verbal fighting! Oh kids grow up.

Stop acting like Rakhi Sawant and Sambhavna Seth trying to grab maximum currency notes in an event by Uttar Pradesh government.  

4. Mumbai gets one more tourist or say religious spot in the face of a 25 ft high steel bat as a tribute for Master-Blaster.

Unreliable sources of Intelligence agencies say L. N Mittal has eyes on this establishment. 

5. Rahul Mahajan makes one more appearance on comedy show.

Dear Government, please declare this man fatal or use him as a spy against Pakistan!

6. Salman-SRK hugged each other for the second time. This time Baba Siddique was missing from the scene!

Chalo half of the world problems can be solved now! Hope there won’t be protests on social networking websites for a different state for Salman or SRK’s fans respectively.

7. So many scandals and Locha going on in our ARMY.

Looks like Army is learning a lot from civilians! Kejriwal must be saying, ‘Iske piche Ambani ka haath hai’

8. Paswan is back to Modi. Also he will launch his son Chirag for second time, after a disastrous bollywood debut, this time in politics. Really a bad time coming ahead!

The perks of being the son of a politician! You get so many launches and obviously free travel, accommodation, alcohol, unlimited supply of cocaine, latest issue of Playboy.....and the list goes on!

9. The Indian comedy channels and all other kinds of acts are spreading like Dengue on internet. Every other day, you see a new notification on FB from a friend begging you to like his/her newly created page.

Our stupid acts are making Zuckerberg richer by Billions!

10. Imagine this- All top notch leaders from congress, BJP and other small time parties watching The Simpsons and eating popcorns! Lalu yells, ‘Ayeh Coke mein thoda bark daalna!’